Zombie People

Disclaimer: This is not a horror story (sorry to disappoint you). The characters in this incident do resemble some people, but you don't know them (and I'm not going to tell you!).

 

Let me start this way-

In the office or in your building there might always be someone who is unresponsive to your greetings, small talk, jokes, comments or any activity for that matter (picturing someone?). When I say unresponsive to you, I mean just YOU!

One of the roommates I had was a Zombie (come on, not literally! Read the disclaimer again). Before that let me tell you -my accommodation was a 2 BHK flat that served as a Paying Guest (PG). The owners were a couple that lived next door. Every room in the flat was meant for 3 people, so that would be 6 in a flat (don't even ask how I managed). One of my roommates had shifted and Aunty (Read: PG owner) was busy searching for a replacement.

One day I had a visitor. A girl (what do you call an unmarried 25-year old that looks 30- girl or woman?) who had come to inspect the room, marched right in. She looked at everything as if it had been painted the colour of diarrhea. After taking a peek at the bathroom she turned to me and exclaimed in an accented voice, "Sorry to say, but there is no shower".

"Yeah, I'm not the one who built this you know. Take your complaints to the owner."

I thought but didn't say that. Instead I put on a smile and said, "No". So this was my first meeting with zombie (Read: my new roommate). Now, I'm unable to comprehend what exactly happened between our cherished conversations that brought her about to become a zombie to us.

Three days after that she shifted in to our room. I had half a mind of asking her, "Wow, doesn't the No-shower-bathroom bother you?" but suppressed the urge. One noticeable thing about the zombie people is- while normal people adjust to surroundings, these expect the surroundings to adjust to them. This I found out during the course of my stay with her. Here she was expanding her empire as I returned from office the first day. We exchanged names (I think she was expecting me to thank her for that) while she continued to mark her territory. I asked her where she worked, in an effort to strike a conversation. She gave me a one word answer and turned her back towards me.

Humph! So much for trying to break the ice. I might have as well broken a slab over her head!!

Days rolled as she still remained the same unyielding person she was to me. At first I tried to reason that she might be the reserved kinds, but I saw that she bonded pretty well with other flatmates. Everybody else must have thought of her as charming, the way she cracked jokes and laughed; hell, they didn't live with her.

She didn't bother if I was studying, if she had to sleep- the lights would be off. Even in winters, if she were warm, the fans would zoom. The plug points served only her (she removed whatever I might have plugged into them- phone or laptop chargers, iron- you get the picture). In short, all electrical appliances were at her mercy. The look she gave if I resisted was barbaric. Did I also mention that apart from these qualities they also have an amazing sense of retort, both direct and indirect?

The biggest advantage of being a zombie is mostly people let them have their way. Because every time someone thinks of giving them a piece of their mind, they look at them poker-faced. In true senses, one can yell at someone unknown or fairly friendly to him. You don’t shout at people you've met a couple of times or in this case some expressionless acquaintances. Zombies seldom fulfill a moral obligation so if you think their conscience must be ticking, you are in for a shock (expect them to care?).

I moved from the PG after a couple of months. What became of her? I don’t know or more liberally speaking I don’t care. I've grown to develop a belief that someone who doesn't smile at you in the room will not smile at you in the marketplace (unless of course you became a celebrity). I would remember her as the girl who gave me many chances to say- “What The #$!%*”. (You never really learn to swear unless you drive or someone drives you up the wall).

There is no known antidote for zombies so if you know one, enjoy your time discovering swear words. Why they hold a grudge against you is probably not for you to know (there may not be a reason), more importantly- don’t bother!