Calcutta- Live it, Love it

Airtel welcomes you to Kolkata. We wish you a pleasant stay.

From: Airtel

13/12/11 11:45 AM

A smile spread across my face, so wide that I started feeling like Chester in Alice in Wonderland. So, I am here... finally ! This wasn't the first time I was visiting Calcutta. I had been here 13 years back but that hardly counts as a memory. Nonetheless, I want to recount this episode as 'coming back to Kol'.

I started having little flashbacks from last time. From Howrah Bridge, Eden Garden, Nicco Park to mishti doi and jhal puchkas. I shook myself and tried to absorb the essence of the present. What had changed? This was how I imagined it, this is how it is. To put it bluntly, every work happens after so much of 'lyath' period, that for Kol to change, it would take a loooong time. But hey, I like it this way. Maybe 'lyath' is a good thing. They should define 'lyath' as the 'art of relaxation' in dictionary (editor's note: they ??).

I was here on purpose (no, not a secret mission)- attending a wedding reception, more appropriately 'bou bhaat'. Satyajit Ray park was filled with Bongs of all ages. I noticed the bengali trend. Bong women don't need gold and diamonds to make a fashion statement, roadside jwellery very appropriately serve the intent (much to the relief of husbands). As the bride's maid- of- honour, I was receiving royal treatment in the groom's household. Totally enjoying the bengali 'mehman-nawazi'. Everybody meets you like you're one of them and being a non-bengali doesn't matter. I think Bongs are the only set of people in India who pay attention in their geography classes and know something about my home- town (Port Blair, A and N Islands). The rest of the Indians just start asking about my passport, visa, national language, national currency, tribal life and mode of transportation (the wierdest question so far- "Are there no trains to Andaman? How do you guys travel??". Dear God in Heaven!). So annoying.

Anyway, when you are a guest in a bengali family, know that 'eating' is like praying to God, no matter how much you eat, it never seems enough. "Arey khao khao, abhi to eelish maach bhi haai, fir thora sa chicken le lena. Aur ek piece to mutton logi tum. Bas uske baad kuch nahi hai, sirf chutney, roshogulla aur paan...". Despite the fact that, at the end of the meal there is no space for even having a sip of water; the bengali food is too delicious to say no to. In my living years so far, I had never had 'lauki ki sabzi' that was so mouth- watering. The worst part is, after this trip, my taste- buds just refuse to settle down for anything less (sigh !).

I also happened to detect that either the cousins live within ear-shot of one another or the  families just build up great rapport living in the vicinity; which gives birth to what I call 'Bengali Volume'. As the distance between the caller and the callee is very less, Bongs prefer using their vocal chords to the maximum rather than any other means of communication. And now this has become a part of their being. So when you hear a Bong on the phone from half a km away, don't be surprised. That is 'Bengali Volume' at work !

And whence talking of Kol, need I cover India's oldest Metro System (legend speaks for itself ! If it doesn't, look it up !!).

There are only 3 categories of Bong girls- maal, bhabhi- material and BHMB (for those who do not understand this, I pity you! ). Bird- watching is a state- sport and irrespective of gender you will find yourself participating in it. Bong boys ? Oh, they are same everywhere- I wish I could say that ! I cannot explain why I have always had a soft corner for 'bengali cheles' :) because they are a little more spiritual, a bit more conected to their roots with a hint of geek in them (hmmm, my type is wierd that way :P ).

If I could list down the problems in Kolkata, there would be many, and joyfully all Bongs would have an opinion and input for this list. But (as there always is a 'but' in the end), despite the many political issues, the constant stikes, the never- ending honks of traffic, the 'bheed', Kolkata is a celebration in itself. People face this everyday and yet when away from home, miss it. The 'bheed' doesn't seem so bad when there is a match in Eden Garden. Honking sounds like football fever. And the virtually immovable mass of people during 'Pujo' just makes you feel more Alive. They are loud and they love it that way.

Yes, Kol has problems; but what place does not ? And nothing like 'cha and biskut' cannot solve !

All hail the spirit of Kolkata !