Ljublju Cigana Jana

There is no right or wrong time to have an existential crisis. I have been back and forth on this topic for a few months now.

Who am I? What is my purpose?

These are not just questions an amnesia patient asks after waking from a coma. Am I close to figuring it all out? Well.... ha ha! Let's leave the answers for old me, okay? Like, really old me. But I am starting to resonate with a lifestyle and thinking. Have I found my passion? Hardly. Although, I believe I have stumbled upon the road that so far seems to agree with my soul.

Oh you drama queen! Quit building suspense and tell us already.

*Groans* Ahh, fine. So much for laying the groundwork!

There are certain ways of the world my heart seems to have trouble with- like borders and nationality. I understand the need but at the same time I don't feel I belong anywhere in particular. I love world music and had I not been raised in a vegetarian household, I'm sure I would have loved world cuisine too. I have always had a ready-to-go suitcase since I started living on my own and in the 13 years I have lived out of my hometown, I have never felt home sick.

You know who else lives this way? Gypsies!

Do I want to be a gypsy? I don't know. All I know for sure is I would absolutely hate being tied down to a place. My soul longs to roam and as far as I can remember (I am talking about back when I was 6-7 years old) I have wanted to travel. As a matter of fact, I can't remember much of thinking about anything else when I gazed out my balcony or bedroom window as a child.

For a bit I got caught up in the mundane of life- relationships, work, responsibilities... but even today all windows pull a string near my heart. 

"It's time," they seem to say, "you've been there too long. Have you forgotten about us?"

"I haven't. I have a few things to take care of. I'll be there, I promise!" I reply hoping that I can be good on my vow.

I don't normally carry regrets. I have none so far. But if I did not do this, it will be the only thing I regret on my death bed.

For all wondering about the title- its a line from an old Russian gypsy song Cigani Ljubiat Pesnji.