The curse of perpetual hope

I'm vary of people who are pessimistic. I always have been. How does one just give in to life? I understand wanting to go with the flow, because not every battle is worth fighting; but is nothing worth fighting for?

They say the universe tests you before it grants your wishes. And dear lord, do the tests decimate your courage, morale and most times - hope. A lot of people fall down time and time again, and after a little while, just don't see the point in getting back up. I kinda understand. I don't necessarily agree, but I understand.

I almost gave in too. And for days, looked at the bleak sky and washed of the salt water from my face. However, those days passed and I was back to just making the best out of the situation. Surely, there must have been a lesson somewhere in there. Nonetheless, I'm only human, and bound to make mistakes again.

I spoke to some old friends, who chided me for being naive, for the copious amounts of faith I put in people and for generally being a village idiot. For a short while I believed them. I thought I was wrong. The way I perceive relationships has remained unchanged since I was a teen. People are supposed to grow with age, aren't they?

That is what they told me. Which translated to- "Kirti, you are supposed to be more cynical. Question people's intentions. Question their motives."

To which all the cells in my body collectively revolted and I felt a righteous ire I have rarely felt before. Because, hell! What kind of life is that? That's no way to live. That's no way to love!

I am of the FIRM belief that, if you are not willing to be an idiot in love, you have no business being in love.

I guess, it is easier to go through life telling yourself that being mature means you need to look at everything through a lens of distrust. It might help you a little, but it will not shield you from heartaches. That thing inside your chest, has wants of its own, and regardless of what plans you have for it, it will chase that butterfly in your stomach.

People ruin the now, by trying to over prepare for the future. When has that ever worked well for anyone of us? We can only do so much and leave the rest, and let life pleasantly surprise you.

I like laughing today, baking muffins and dancing in my brand new PJs. Why spoil that with what isn't?

So, dear universe, I am back to being a lovable goof!